Curried Cat. It’s really good

On Test… the Jaguar XFR and the Jaguar XKR

Hot and sweaty…. usually that’s a fairly uncomfortable state to be in. There are, however, three situations where the spike in one’s temperature can be the result of something altogether more pleasurable.

And for two of those, one can thank the wonderful people of India.

Firstly, there’s nothing like a potent Indian curry to get the juices flowing. A good Vindaloo or, if you’re really brave, a Phal will open your pores faster than a Finnish sauna packed with Swedish supermodels.

And secondly, there’s an Indian car called a Jaguar. Especially one with the letter “R” affixed to its arse. Yes, Jaguar – though the Brits don’t like to talk about it much – is in fact owned by the Indians. Tata are India’s largest automobile company and four years ago they bought both the Jaguar and Land Rover brands. And thank Ghandi for that. Since then both brands have flourished – none more so than Jag. And none more so than Jags called “something something R”.

Recently we’ve had the pleasure to drive both the Jaguar XKR sportscar and the XFR saloon. In both instances the “R” stands for Reallyfast and that’s because both share a brilliant lump of metal that is Jag’s supercharged 5.0-litre V8. It’s a wonder. The engine sends 375kW barreling to the rear wheels – two sizey bands of rubber that are barely able to transmit all that wattage to the road. Both the XKR and the XFR will easily do 250km/h (more like 300km/h if you removed its electronic engine management shackles), but that’s not its most impressive bit. It’s the 625Nm of torque, the low down grunt, the midrange power the engine has to accelerate in third, fourth and fifth gear that is simply gobsmacking.

Jaguar XFR

And so is the price. Both are over a million South African Rands, and the lithe XKR is a couple of R100k dearer than its four-door sibling. In this price-bracket though, a couple of hundred thou isn’t going to break the bank now is it, and it’s practicality and a measure of personal taste that will dictate your choice of cat.

Both cars are fairly heavy topping the two ton mark, but their road dynamics belie their bulk and both are nimble and agile through the corners. Gradually pushing the car’s adhesive limits is well advised and even with the traction control gizmos switched on, all that power does cause the back end to let go should you flex your right ankle at the a little too early while exiting a corner.

Jaguar XKR

It’s a simple choice in the end. Do you want to go really fast and leave great swathes of tyre rubber in your wake with a couple of passengers in the rear seats? Or do you want to go really fast and leave great swathes of tyre rubber in your wake with only, maybe, one person sitting next to you? If it’s the former, get the XFR… the latter, then the XKR should be parked in your garage. You lucky bastard.

The Jaguar XKR costs R1 260 400 and the Jaguar XFR costsR1 044 900

(as appeared in the June issue of the Kuluma, the Kulula airline in-flight mag)